HAPPINESS IS SCARY
Happiness. Even though we all have our own definition of happiness – from having a reason to smile will having to smile for no reason, yes, think about that one twice ;) – for most of us it comes pretty natural to be happy. Of course, we all experience the occasional ‘down’ besides our ‘ups’, but I dare to say that many of us are lucky, and therefore happy, to have great family or friends, a roof above their heads and enough food to survive (and yes, I’m aware of the fact that for some there’s more to happiness that just that, but just to make a point). I have been reading quite some articles about happiness and its origins, but one article by Robert Holden caught my attention. He states that we often relate to happiness as something special. Or odd. Or lucky. But on the other hand we don’t really greet happiness with open arms for one reason: we don’t trust it. And I’m pretty sure he’s right.
Applying this to my personal situation:
I’m pretty happy. Or wait: I pretty f*cking happy! I’ve got a great boyfriend (we’ve been together for 11 years now), we live together in a lovely appartment in Amsterdam. I’ve got a great job, I’m running my own business, I’ve got awesome friends, a family who loves me and tons of shoes. Let’s blame my cautious nature for it, but somehow I’m always waiting for the fall. Waiting for things to go wrong. I admit this may sounds as a very negative take on life, but even though I don’t consider myself a negative person, it’s the truth.
I allow myself to enjoy the happy moments – of course – but as soon as the experiences are starting to get more intense or deep, I’m too afraid to loose it. Let’s get even more personal here: this might have anything to do with the fact that a lot of things in my life have always been guided by self doubt and I guess I doubt my happiness as much as I doubt myself.
So here’s an outfit post we shot at one of those moments I feel the happiest: during a relaxing, long weekend on the island with my love. I’m so grateful to be able to visit this wonderful place whenever we want (I received quite some questions about it, I’m thinking about devoting an entire post to it, but it’s the Dutch island Texel where my boyfriend grew up and where we always have a place to stay if we want to escape the city madness for a bit). As a girl who has always loved the city more than the country side I’m pretty surprised to say that those weekends on the island definitely are the moments I feel most relaxed (besides travelling abroad, I love that even more) and happy. Why? Perhaps because I never doubt a single thing about the happiness I feel when I’m there: I’m sure it will not fade.
Happiness. Are you afraid of it?